Let me tell you a little secret: I hate small talk.
If you ever send me a text just saying “Hi” or just saying my name, chances are that I’m not going to answer it. I usually try to be better at this with people who don’t really know me and don’t know that I hate beating around the bush.
I try, but I have my limits. There once was this guy who sent me 16 “Hello”s in a minute on what’s App. There are loads of people who I answer “Hi! How are you?” and then they never answer me back. It drives me crazy! If you’re contacting me, at least have the decency to tell me what you wanted to tell me instead of leaving me hanging.
Where am I going with this?
Note: when I say text, I mean every form of written communication except for email. This includes: SMS, What’s App, Telegram, LINE, Facebook wall post, Facebook comments, Facebook messages, Vine messages, Instagram comments, Instagram messages, if you can write short messages it’s included in this list.
There are kinds of texts that I will answer in the moment, some that I will answer later, and some that I totally ignore. To me, texting or messaging is an asynchronous method of communication. Unless I see something interesting on my notifications, I’m not going to answer right away. I don’t consider a situation dire or urgent, if you start texting me with “Hi! How are you?”
I also have disabled notifications on many of my messaging mediums. My phone used to be beeping all the time, courtesy of many a group chat and I’m really enjoying the peace of not having my phone ringing or vibrating.
If you really need me, you can call me or SMS me. Those two phone functions can’t be silenced and be rest assured that I will answer right away.
What was the point?
Yeah, don’t waste my time and yours with “Hi! How are you?” and just tell me, ask me, let me know, whatever it is you need me for. It can be a huge long chat about your existential crisis or just a silly picture of Doge. I prefer long meaningful messages to standard small talk ones. I prefer a silly picture of Doge, a picture of grumpy cat, or a link to a BuzzFeed post instead of small talk. I’d rather you say “Hey Jules! Can you help me with this and that?” instead of “Hey! I haven’t seen you in ages. How have you been?”
I’d rather you ask me all the small talk questions when we’re on the phone or face to face. It is more personal than just writing “Oh! I’m fine!” (Even if I’m not).